Recovery from Cults for Returning Catholics

How should I start this..for those who were raised Catholic and searched for answers in alternative religons only to find a false
hope for a true God.
I would suggest to go back to the ruins and discover those moments God was reaching out to you. For myself it was 2nd grade in Catholic School and this is how I found my way out of programed cult teachings,it came back to me after ten years out of a cult.
I heard a soft voice pierce thru the numbness of my soul. She was singing a song about Jesus.
The sound of the guitar seemed to reach down and embrace my heart with a warm tenderness to a cold body.
Her eyes sparkling with joy like candles dancing in the darkness of a beautiful home where one felt security and assurance and safety of heart.
Once I felt this peace i knew it was something no one would or could EVER take away from me. It was a seed that was planted in my life, a ray of HOPE that would continue to grow as my life journey continued into a rainbow of hope to encourage and strengthen me and build my faith with cords of spiritual fiber to network my inner soul.(in a true God) FATHER,SON AND HOLY SPIRIT.
I was 7 yrs old ,and in this moment and time this young nun had made the greatest impact on my life!
I wanted what she had,that peace..........the joy . I wanted God in my life and through the years i often thought about that day at school and how to get HOW TO REALLY REALLY get into the FAMILY of GOD!
Years passed and i got older and a friend had died and I was so angry and I WANTED ANSWERS.
I wrote a letter to GOD because I had NO idea how to get a hold of this higher power and in it were my funeral arrangements and a suicide plan if I didn't get any answers by the time we moved to the next Military Base
..I was 17 yrs old then and wanted to start my life over,I was in college studying criminal justice.

Coming home from school one day I picked up a hitch hiker and she invited me to a twig,(a "christian fellowship)she seemed nice and she told me it ,a bible study.

.Friday night came and I went to the bar as usual,my friend had to work late and i ended up walking inot a twig.buzzed with 28 wows watching a film by The Way International called Changed.

I wanted that..that is what I wanted..I went in head first and didn't look back..I thought it was the answer.
After 4 years in the cult and extreme living as a cocoon..I left it.

 With no exit couseling
just pretty much ignoring the past and being numb of spiritual things.

 Ten years went by and the desire to make peace with God grew again in my heart like a dead garden coming to life.
I remembered little by little the things in childhood that were good
and how beautiful are those who serve the wine and the bread to a world Jesus Christ died for,this nun would teach us the signifigance of holy communion with a song called take our bread,she taught me how to play guitar and in mass you'd have all these little kids playing instruments ,it was precious.
Take our bread is a traditional cathlolic song and the words are as follows.
Take our bread..we ask you take our hearts we love you take our lives ..oh Father we are yours. We are yours,
Yours as we stand at the table you set...yours as we eat this bread our hearts can't forget...we are the sign of your life with us yet ...we are yours
we are yours.
Your holy people standing washed in your blood,spirit filled yet hungry we await your food...we are poor but we brought ourselves the best that we could
we are yours..we are yours.
She taught us that this was the SOURCE WE ALL NEEDED TO LIVE ,to survive through thick and thin and even though we were very young and filled with childlike dreams of toys and fairytales she knew....
She knew this would be the pivoting factor in our lives,that would be the substance to help us in lifes storms that would await us,as life goes.
Recieving this teaching done with love and compassion from a young women who had given her life to serve God was to me like recieving the GIFT OF BLOOD IN ONE OF NEED OF LIFE (like one in need of a blood transfusion in order to live!
In the mass i would watch the priest and during the time with I was told to believe was the most Holy time was when those three bells would ring.(this being old traditional ways)
and everyman with hand held fist would bow their head with fist closed and touch their heart.
Even though through the years I would as everyone memorize the mass and actions of it,this part always seemed new...the priest would read from the HOLY Word of God saying:
Father in heaven it is right that we should give you thanks and praise,You are the one God,living and true.
Through all eternity you live in unappraochable light. SOURCE OF LIFE and goodness,you have created all things,to fill your creation with every
blessing and lead all men to the joyful vision of your light.
Countless host of angels stand before you to do your will,they look upon your splendor and praise you night and day united with them and in the name of every creature under heaven we too praise your glory and sing.
CHRIST HAS DIED,CHRIST HAS RISEN, CHRIST WILL COME AGAIN.
our seven year old minds to not realize the transition from phantom to image faith
BUT we knew this that God was in our hearts and we were children of the Lord....and believing this would symbolically give us that blood transfusion to every network of our fiber to build spiritual muscle in the life to come ahead of us.
You see a phantom is NOT an image with no substance. appearing or forming in the mind,unreal,illusive and I feel it important to share what faith is and what it is not.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen.

 Substance abuse is empty!

If you were told of a substance that had NO blood.

In the gospel of John it readsl and the word became flesh and dwelt among us and through His shed blood we have activated NEW LIFE .
That which has access to bring by root the essential material into our lives(the SUBSTANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR THE EVIDENCE OF THINGS UNSEEN)
This is not something man can fabricate into existance(with a pfal class or whatever the phantom image was),,this is the real existance of the shed
blood of the LIVING GOD.
For this is the SOURCE of mans life,this is what we were designed to draw strength from,OUR BREAD OF LIFE...OUR DAILY BREAD AND THIS IS THE HEALING IMAGE.